I'm entitled to whine.
** BIG SIGH**... So, now I'm past my due date. As numerous women have told me and most understand, this is not a great feeling. Everything hurts. I can't really sit down anywhere comfortably. And I'm just huge. I'm just so tired of waiting around for this kid! I have waited for almost 2 years for this child. Why won't she just come already?!
My frustrations are extremely common, but it doesn't really give me much of a sense of humor about it. Last week I didn't even go to church because I couldn't stand hearing all the comments from people. It's gotten to the point where I'll just walk into a room and well-meaning people will laugh at me. Normally, I would be fine with that, but lately it's hurting my feelings. Others will say things like, "You're next!" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?!" or "I'm surprised you're even here!" I know they just mean it as kind of a joke, but when you've heard it 20 times already, it's just not funny. Sometimes I just want to scream, "If it was up to me I'd have had this kid already! Do you think I WANT to birth a huge baby?!" But what good would that do me. It's really been a struggle. God's been teaching me about extending grace and mercy to others. I was doing okay until now. With each night that passes with no labor, I get more and more depressed. I know it has to happen soon, but I'm really getting impatient. Rick, who has been on vacation for the last 3 weeks, goes back to work next week. Some might ask, "Why the heck did he take vacation so soon?" Because we just didn't know. At 36 weeks, I think if I didn't calm down and take off from work, I probably would have had this kid, but too early. I'm really worried that he's not going to have time to spend with the baby. If he goes back to work before I have the kid, they won't let him off (well, not paid anyway) when I finally do go into labor. With all that we've been through, it would kill Rick not to be there. Financially, we can't afford him to miss work, especially now that I'm not working. The enemy is doing a good job of keeping me in worry. What a punk. I wish I could bash his face in. To accomplish this, I know I need to pray more. I'm just not really sure what to pray for. Anyway, I'm just rambling, writing out my frustrations, and sending them out into cyberspace. It's a beautiful day today. I'll go to my doctor's appointment, and then go for a lovely walk. :)
My frustrations are extremely common, but it doesn't really give me much of a sense of humor about it. Last week I didn't even go to church because I couldn't stand hearing all the comments from people. It's gotten to the point where I'll just walk into a room and well-meaning people will laugh at me. Normally, I would be fine with that, but lately it's hurting my feelings. Others will say things like, "You're next!" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?!" or "I'm surprised you're even here!" I know they just mean it as kind of a joke, but when you've heard it 20 times already, it's just not funny. Sometimes I just want to scream, "If it was up to me I'd have had this kid already! Do you think I WANT to birth a huge baby?!" But what good would that do me. It's really been a struggle. God's been teaching me about extending grace and mercy to others. I was doing okay until now. With each night that passes with no labor, I get more and more depressed. I know it has to happen soon, but I'm really getting impatient. Rick, who has been on vacation for the last 3 weeks, goes back to work next week. Some might ask, "Why the heck did he take vacation so soon?" Because we just didn't know. At 36 weeks, I think if I didn't calm down and take off from work, I probably would have had this kid, but too early. I'm really worried that he's not going to have time to spend with the baby. If he goes back to work before I have the kid, they won't let him off (well, not paid anyway) when I finally do go into labor. With all that we've been through, it would kill Rick not to be there. Financially, we can't afford him to miss work, especially now that I'm not working. The enemy is doing a good job of keeping me in worry. What a punk. I wish I could bash his face in. To accomplish this, I know I need to pray more. I'm just not really sure what to pray for. Anyway, I'm just rambling, writing out my frustrations, and sending them out into cyberspace. It's a beautiful day today. I'll go to my doctor's appointment, and then go for a lovely walk. :)
posted by Pickrell Pirates | 9:56 AM
1 Comments:
You go girl! You know when that baby comes all of this waiting won't matter a bit. When you see her little face for the first time, the pain, the waiting and everything just goes out the door so you just hang in there.
Love you
Veta
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