Pickrell Pirates

Well everone ELSE was doing it, so I guess we ought to as well! Actually I was checking out Becky's blog and saw how many others were keeping in touch with their blogs. What a wonderful idea! So anyway,... I'm going to bore you with my news too! Whoo hoo!

My Photo
Name:
Location: Ketchikan, Alaska, United States

Now is the time to adjust to yet another new normal. We have forgotten what sleeping through the entire night is like.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Be watchful...

I had a rather disturbing, yet eye opening experience this last weekend. As I was ranting before, it was Azalea's birthday last Friday. We ended up having a sweet, little tea party in Azalea's honor, and that was really nice.
Later that evening, my mom and I were invited to a women's conference. Now, we were invited by someone I respect very much, so I had kind of a dilemma about whether or not I was going to go. But I had resolved that if there was something that I needed to do, I was not going to use Azalea's sorrow as an excuse any more-- I've already done that too much. So, we went.
Perhaps some of you who are here in Ketchikan went to that conference, and perhaps you really had a remarkable experience meeting the Holy Spirit there. I truly hope so. That was not the case for me. Now I don't shy away from events where people worship differently than me. In fact, I relish it. I love worshipping with God's family, regardless of where they call their "home." But this event was quite intimidating for me. And there was something that was simple not right. The focus appeared to me on loudness and the worship leader. There was the speaking of tongues from the stage, but no interpretation. I know that there's a prayer language, and we should use it, but if you're going to do that, put the microphone down! I sincerely did go there with a mind to worship and be encouraged by my sisters, but instead I brought something else back with me. I left there extremely annoyed-- and rather judgemental.
Later that weekend, I found out that one of my friends was doing something that I thought was rather stupid. I was really mad! I didn't understand why it affected me so, I mean, it wasn't like they were screwing up my life. Well I stewed about this for days. I gossiped and slandered, and by the time Sunday rolled around I felt yucky, guilty, and just down right horrible. I couldn't fully enter into worship, because I knew that something was not right in my heart. But I couldn't shake it!
Pastor Cooke was preaching about putting off the old man and being transformed by the Holy Spirit. I had heard this before, and knew I should be renewed, but why couldn't I. Then God gave me a revelation. He reminded me of a conversation I had had with Sean the night before. Sean was playing drums for that conference, and he had expressed to me that when he left, he was exceptionally angry. He didn't even listen to music on the way home because he was so mad. He then told me that he knew there was an evil presence with him there. He said that he was just so tired that he simple told the demons to go away. When I remembered this, I had to stop and think-- Did something come home with me from that conference that was not the Holy Spirit? Yes, something had, and it was appealing to my old self who was vengeful, easily angered and judgemental. I was annoyed, no longer with people, but at how easy it was for the enemy to slip in through my defenses. I immediately spoke the name and Jesus Christ and demanded that the demons go away and take my old self with them. Instantly my heart was relieved, I had joy again, and my sore throat that I had all day was gone. Rick refers to it as God healing the land. Now, I'm not saying that demons made me do the things that I did, because I made my own choices; and I obviously had something inside me still to be latched onto.
Here's my point-- as Christians we must always be watchful. When we go to worship somewhere, anywhere, how does it line up with Scripture. They may tell you that you are going to meet the spirit there, but how do you know what kind of spirit it is? They may intend the Holy Spirit, but even the enemy can come to church unless you tell him to get out. I picked up some demons at a "Christian" function, and that troubles me. Now, I don't think any less of the women who were there, and some of the ladies I still respect a lot. I'm sure for some it was an uplifting time, and again, I hope it was. But always be watchful, and always be on your guard.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Early Morning Musings



Today is my daughter's birthday. Right now, I'm up very early because my own sensibilities will not let me sleep. The weight of this day is very overwhelming for me. Last year, at almost 1:00 in the morning, I heard that most wonderful, heart-wrenching words ever. The nurse, Cindy, leaned down, kissed my forehead and said, "Tiffany, you're a mother!"

Rick and I often refer to this day as the best and worst day of our lives. We're not mad at God-- how can you be mad at someone who gave you such a wonderful gift in the first place? I have come to terms with the whole thing, I'm just missing my little girl, and that's okay.

In all honesty, I don't really know why I'm writing this. Perhaps I just need to send my thoughts out into space in hopes that it may help someone. I like to think that I've held myself together really well. Every chance I get, I have to tell of God's greatness and how He has truly blessed my husband and I. I guess part of me is just sad at how superficial we make things sometimes. Lately, I've just heard so much about friends and family that are either getting divorced, or don't seem to care about their children very much. Why can't they see what a privilege it is to have either of those?! Sure marriage is difficult, but you have to remember that you not only vowed to each other, you vowed to God. That's a pretty serious thing. There's been plenty of times where that's been the thing holding my husband and I together, and I'm glad it did. I never would have made it this far without my other half. And children, I know their loud, smelly, and slimy most of the time-- but what a gift! To hold that little hand, and to express love, and to have it expressed back to you with smiles or uprooted flowers you just planted, boy... what a wonderful thing.

Don't worry about Tiffany. My heart is healing and is full of joy. God truly has given me a wonderful life. No, I don't have everything, but God makes my life good. Please continue to pray for us. I go in for my first OB appointment on the 25th of this month. Pray that everything goes well. Also, I'm now a high risk pregnancy. Pray that I won't need to go to Seattle or Anchorage to have this baby. I want to do my best to teach school as long as I can. Thank you for indulging my thoughts.