Introducing Hadassah Pickrell

Let me sing of the mercies of the Lord! April 27th, 2009 the Lord blessed Rick and I with the most miraculous blessing my heart could ever endure. What a beautiful little girl! I tell you, it wasn't easy. And this baby was brought into the world by way of prayer.
Rick and I went into the hospital at 5:00am, happy and ready for induction. As I had said earlier, the plan was to use Cytotech, which was to be a bit easier on me. Well, apparently Rick and I can't do anything normally. We got all prepped and ready to go, but then the baby's heart rate dropped suddenly. This was a great cause for concern. After consulting with the midwife, Katrina, they decided to forgo the Cytotech and do pitocin. Dang... The problem was, they weren't sure if the baby was having trouble with the stress of labor, of if it was just positional. So then started the ridiculously long process of pitocin.
Because of the pitocin, I had to be under constant monitoring. I was not allowed to move about. I had asked if I could sit on an excercise ball. This felt great to me, but they couldn't get a clear monitor on the baby's heart rate. So it was back to the bed. After 13 hours of waiting around, I didn't go into labor. There just wasn't any gravity pulling the baby down. As time passed I got more and more upset. Katrina called in the OB doctor, Sarah Archer, to consult with her. She said that the baby's head had actually gone back up, and things weren't looking too good. The next option was a C-section. The Dr. Archer said that the likelyhood of me having a vaginal birth was 30%. Why wasn't this going the way I wanted it to? Hadn't I prayed? Wasn't I doing what God wanted me to do? Why had all my prayers for others been answered, but none for myself? I'm sorry to say, but I was starting to get mad at God. I knew this wasn't right, because He was going to give me a live, beautiful baby either way.
It was at this point that Krista started to make a few phone calls. "People need to be praying," she said. Because the heart monitor was so spotty, they put in what's called a scalp probe. It's a sharp, little, electrode that actually screws into the baby's head. Yeah, sounds real nice. Once they had that on baby's head, I asked if I could change positions, because lying in bed felt very counter-productive. They moved me to a rocking chair and started the pitocin again. It was at this point that a lot of mighty prayer warriors starting doing their fighting. Even people who weren't called and had no idea what was going were prompted to pray. And guess what... I started going into labor.
Some time back, I had looked up on youtube.com a video titled, "woman sings while in labor." This was recommended during our child birth class. What they didn't specify was that the woman singing was actually worshipping. She beautifully sang "Psalm 23" during her early labor and didn't even crack as she had a couple of strong contractions. I was so inspired by this video. What a wonderful way to bring a baby into the world! I had made a mix of worship songs for during labor. Now, I didn't sing like this woman, but I did manage to worship during the beginning of labor. I was pretty proud I made it all the way through "Wonderful, Merciful, Savior." Then, as the pitocin REALLY kicked it, I was pretty much knocked breathless.
I'm going to take a moment to brag about my husband. He did an amazing job during this entire process. The contractions were ruthlessly stacked on top of each other, and there was no rest in between them at all. I was so tired, I wanted to give up numerous times. But Rick, my awesome husband, made me maintain eye contact with him and he breathed with me through them all. He continually told me how much he loved me, and how proud he was of me. I didn't swear once, came close, but didn't cuss at all. During the really hard ones, he even told me to squeeze his hand, which is a very dangerous thing. But he kept his cool and really carried me all the way through.
When it finally came time to push, I was exhaughsted, in astronomical pain, and ready for a C-section. I honestly have no idea how I even made it through, except that the saints were praying and fighting on my behalf. The baby did not want to come out. It sounded like a horrible warzone in that room. I'm a little embarrassed at how much noise I was making, but honestly, there was no avoiding it. Her head was so big that it was making things close to impossible. I was just a hair's breath away from that C-section. Katrina was incredibly encouraging, even when things were going bad. The baby's heart rate dropped again several times. At one point it got dangerously low. They started to set everything out for an episiotomy. When I saw that syringe come for a local anestetic, I knew what was coming. And even though I was beyond tired, I knew I had to push, and hard. I was beginning to think this baby was never going to come out, and I even stated so; but then Katrina said loudly, "Okay Tiffany, it's time for you to meet this baby. PUSH!" And then that baby gloriously entered the world and I heard the most beautiful sound in my entire life: my daughter's first cry.
Rick's tears pretty much explain it all. She was beautiful, amazing, wonderful, worth it all. I just had to praise God. We had an audience out in the hall that consisted of grandparents and Auntie Krista. When they heard that little cry, a great cheer went up.
So here I am, sipping my OB cocktail, nursing the wounds of a 4th degree tear (which is the worst kind of tear that can happen), listening to the coos of my beautiful daughter, and contemplating all of these things. No, things didn't go the way I wanted them to. In fact, almost every single thing that I didn't want to happen, happened. But this was God's way. He wanted me to have a testimony that showed the mighty power of God and the incredible importance of prayer. This baby was conceived through prayer, grown healthy through prayer, and now, born through prayer.
Keep praying, even if you think it's a small thing. You never know who you're saving.

Welcome to the world, Haddy Jo!

An end in sight!

Oh praise the Lord. I indeed will NOT be pregnant forever. At my last doctor's appointment on Thursday my midwife scheduled me for inducing on next Monday, the 27th. What a relief! I pretty much have the weekend to go into labor naturally, which would really be great. But if that doesn't happen, I go in VERY early on Monday morning. It's amazing the difference a for sure date makes. And God revealed to me an interesting point. I was very depressed and frustrated about being overdue, but God spoke to my heart an asked, "Is it really that bad, considering what you've been through?"
No, seeing as how I had my first baby prematurely, me being overdue just shows that my body can do it! I'm not a premature baby haver. There's blessing there, and I need to give glory to God. He has healed me, and He has given me a beautiful miracle. I am very excited that this baby is going to come before Rick has to go back to work. I am blessed that it's not going to be so much time that I get used to Rick being home all week. God's timing really is perfect. I should have figured that out by now, because it always works out that way. I just get impatient that God's not following MY agenda.
Please continue to pray. I really would like to go into labor naturally. But, I'm blessed that I'm not afraid of labor. They're planning on using Cytotech, which is actually an ulcer medication. Also, I will have to have an IV because I'm GBS positive, and I have a terrible time with IV's. Pray that when they put the needle in that they get it the first time and don't have to do multiple sticks. God is good, and he really does work all things for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

I'm entitled to whine.

** BIG SIGH**... So, now I'm past my due date. As numerous women have told me and most understand, this is not a great feeling. Everything hurts. I can't really sit down anywhere comfortably. And I'm just huge. I'm just so tired of waiting around for this kid! I have waited for almost 2 years for this child. Why won't she just come already?!
My frustrations are extremely common, but it doesn't really give me much of a sense of humor about it. Last week I didn't even go to church because I couldn't stand hearing all the comments from people. It's gotten to the point where I'll just walk into a room and well-meaning people will laugh at me. Normally, I would be fine with that, but lately it's hurting my feelings. Others will say things like, "You're next!" or "Haven't you had that baby yet?!" or "I'm surprised you're even here!" I know they just mean it as kind of a joke, but when you've heard it 20 times already, it's just not funny. Sometimes I just want to scream, "If it was up to me I'd have had this kid already! Do you think I WANT to birth a huge baby?!" But what good would that do me. It's really been a struggle. God's been teaching me about extending grace and mercy to others. I was doing okay until now. With each night that passes with no labor, I get more and more depressed. I know it has to happen soon, but I'm really getting impatient. Rick, who has been on vacation for the last 3 weeks, goes back to work next week. Some might ask, "Why the heck did he take vacation so soon?" Because we just didn't know. At 36 weeks, I think if I didn't calm down and take off from work, I probably would have had this kid, but too early. I'm really worried that he's not going to have time to spend with the baby. If he goes back to work before I have the kid, they won't let him off (well, not paid anyway) when I finally do go into labor. With all that we've been through, it would kill Rick not to be there. Financially, we can't afford him to miss work, especially now that I'm not working. The enemy is doing a good job of keeping me in worry. What a punk. I wish I could bash his face in. To accomplish this, I know I need to pray more. I'm just not really sure what to pray for. Anyway, I'm just rambling, writing out my frustrations, and sending them out into cyberspace. It's a beautiful day today. I'll go to my doctor's appointment, and then go for a lovely walk. :)

Hunting the Easter Bunny

Aww... what a beautiful Resurrection Sunday. The sun was out. Had lunch with family. And went for a bit of rabbit hunting. Wait---what?!

Yup, that's right. This "Easter" Sunday my family and I went rabbit hunting. Here's the lowdown. Apparently my parent's neighborhood is getting overrun with rabbits. Mom kept talking about seeing rabbits over the last couple of days, but she didn't know where they came from, seeing as how wild rabbits isn't really a common thing around here. It turns out that one of the neighbors down the street had a coop containing the animals. There were 4 adults (2 males, 2 females) and 6 or 7 babies. It seems that the males chewed through their confined space to get to the females and then they all in turn chewed their way out of the coop. The owners are not home, and the person who is supposed to be taking care of them hasn't been around. So now, there are 10 or 11 rabbits out terrorizing the neighborhood. "Okay, really. How much damage can a bunny do?" you might ask. Let me tell you-- A LOT! Spring is finally in the air and we're seeing our first precious signs of green... and then they get eaten! My mom's crocuses (I don't care how it's spelled) are quickly disappearing. When Rick and I went over for lunch, Mom was showing me what was left of her flowers. We went inside, ate, and in that short time, more had "disappeared"! Everybody's gardens have been hit. The whole neighborhood is up in arms about the rabbits. Apparently, their not just sticking to destroying gardens either. These are mean animals. One of the neighbor's and his family managed to net one, and the thing went balistic. It was biting, scractching, and tearing out it's own hair trying to escape. Also, these frisky little devils have taken to violating cats! One neighbor's cat is declawed and a rabbit tried to mate with him. Poor kitty. That same neighbor also has a huge dog, which is great for keeping the bears away, but apparently he can't handle small, furry, vermin. He's been witnessed being chased away by two rabbits.

When I went over to my parents house, Mom and Sean were out "shooting rabbits," as my dad put it. I was thinking, "Wow, I didn't think Mom had it in her." Turns out, they were shooting a spring-loaded bebe gun at a rabbit and it didn't phase the dang thing. But Mom is mad enough to blugeon the pests. She's taken to weilding a walking stick whenever she's outside now. A good rabbit whapper. So, we went about today looking for rabbits; taking nets, bebe guns, sticks, and luck. One adult rabbit has been caught and returned to the coop. One baby has been caught by a neighbor girl, who last I heard was trying to convince her mom to let her keep it. Ha! I'm sure that went over realy well. We did spot a few, but no luck in the recovery department.

Aw... what a great Easter!

It is SO on, Caren!!!

So here's the latest in the baby race, that's right, race. I just came back from my OB visit and, praise the LORD, I'm finally starting to dialate. It's only about a 1 or a 2, but it's something! Yay! So Caren and I are pretty neck and neck right now. We'll see who goes first. (I'm really praying it isn't a full OB ward when we get there). Good luck, Caren. We're both going to do this the natural way!