Cat's out of the bag...

Alright... for those of you who may not already know... I'm going to have another baby! Rick and I are beyond excited. It actually is an incredible testimony. Allow me to share.
Last year after Azalea was born, our OB doctor recommended that we wait a year before trying again for a baby. This was absolute agony, as I knew that I had had a baby, but my house was eerily quiet. I like to think that we've hadled ourselves well, considering the hurt and dissapointment. Sure, there were some days when it was hard just to get out of bed, but we still did what needed to be done. As June came around, my pills ran out and I just decided not to get any more. I figured it was close enough to a year. And I have to say, I was expecting to put a bun in the oven right away, since that was what happened last time.
Well, God being who he is didn't want it to be that simple. This was a special event. I developed some physical problems that made getting pregnant difficult. And in the inbetween times I was burning through pregnancy tests like crazy (and they are not inexpensive). It was a difficult time for me emotionally, because I wanted this so badly and every negative test was a stab to the heart. However, it says in God's Word that our Spirits prayers louder and more effectively than our own words ever could. And he knew that on a daily basis my heart cried out bitterly for a baby.
Earlier this summer, we had a man come from Honduras by the name of Felicito Nunez (I think that was his last name). He spoke powerfully, and was full of the Spirit. He really convicted me. He had said that he had the privelege to be at all of the prayer meetings in the church, but then he asked, "Do you not have any young people here? Are there only grey-heads in this church?" Boy, that struck me hard. I had been neglecting going to Friday night prayer because of my own excuses. And the enemy was using Azalea as a big weapon against me. I knew it was always a battle to get to prayer, but until then, I hadn't realized that the enemy was wiping the floor with me. So, Rick and I said, "Enough is enough!" and got back to praying. While Felicito was speaking that night, I felt a stirring in my Spirit and I knew I needed to go up and pray about this baby situation. Moments later, I felt Krista's hand on my shoulder and she whispered, "I just really feel that if he gives an altar call, you need to go up and we'll pray for healing with this baby stuff." I immediatly started crying, I mean, is God obvious or what? Felicito did give a call, but it was so different that what we were used to. And silly me, I let fear keep me in my seat. I didn't go up. I knew I needed to, but I stayed glue to me seat. The worship team was called up to play for communion, and the whole time I was bawling my eyes out because I knew I didn't do what I was supposed to. When the service was over, I asked Rick if we should go pray. He wasn't quite aware of what was up, but he said, "Let's go to the prayer room." That wasn't quite what I knew I had to do, but it was a start. As we made our way towards the prayer room, all of a sudden, there was Felicito, almost as if God had cleared him for us. I immediately went over to him and told him that I needed prayer. Very friendly like he said, "Okay. I will pray for you." It was amazing! I didn't even tell him what I needed prayer for... he just knew it. He prayed for a family for Rick and I. He prayed that we would have it in GOD'S TIMING. And then he told us that God was indeed going to give us a family. That we were going to be rewarded with children.
As if being prophecied over wasn't enough, there's more. The same weedend as Rick's and my anniversary, there was a women's retreat with Margie Rose. It was wonderful. A real moving of the Spirit. On the first night, when we had ended, Chrissie McClennan closed by saying that if we need prayer that we should go up and pray, and not leave here without taking care of matters with the Lord. I knew that I should go and pray, because I was frustrated with not yet being pregnant, and what better person to pray with me than a sister in Christ? Well, at the same table I was sitting at, two women starting talking about babies. It was simple, and innocent, and I wasn't even part of the conversation; but I let Satan tweek the hurt in my heart and I left without praying. I used the hurt as an excuse to keep me from doing what I was supposed to do. It was a Friday, so I later went to prayer and I tried to push it out of my mind. It was not big deal, tomorrow I'd do the right thing, it doesn't matter. Well, at prayer, Rosie Walker started praying for the women who passed up the oppotunity to pray. Oh man,... Rosie was telling on me without even knowing it! Actually, it was the Spirit through Rosie that was telling me I needed to get right. So then I prayed, asking for forgiveness, but it exploded into something more. I realized then and there how big of a weapon the enemy had against me, and I needed to give all the pain over to God. I didn't want to be manipulated by my hurt anymore. Then everyone there gathered around and put there hands on me, and Rosie prayed a beautiful prayer over me. She was the sister in Christ I needed to pray with. David Michael was there as well. He is an Indian man from Australia, who pastors a church in Melbourne. He also prayed over me, not knowing my exact situation. But he encouraged me to pray as Hannah prayed--crying out to God for a child that she would give right back to him. I did, and me heart was healed so much that night. David also told me to study Samuel I, and get the promises from God that were written there. I couldn't help realizing that Hannah's praise was exactly the kind of thing that I would sing too. This was Friday night.
The very next day, I felt compelled to take yet another pregnancy test. Seems very close, and I was going to wait... but I felt I had to. Wouldn't you know, it was positive. I didn't want to be premature with my news... but I knew in my heart that this was my promised child (or children, we joke). Part of me wanted to wait until I was further along, but how could I keep something so wonderful a secret? And I would have been keeping it secret out of fear, which would have been the same thing as worshipping the thing I didn't want to come to pass. We told my parents and everyone that was at prayer on Friday. It was David's last day with us, and he was so excited. He started crying and telling us how much we had blessed him.
We were going to keep in underwraps for a bit longer, but on Paul's final night here of preaching, there was just such a strong moving of the Spirit. And as they asked for testimonies of the wonderful things that God has done, I KNEW I had to speak.
So here I am now. And enormous sorrow has been lifted from my heart. I look expectantly to what God brings us. For all who read this, please please please pray for us. Pray that our baby, or babies, is born healthy, and on time. I'm enjoying my morning sickness, and my fatigue. Know I know that it all will be worth it. PRAISE GOD for His infinite blessings!!!

Good times

This last week Rick had ten days off. It was marvelous. I had all these plans for all these things that we were going to get done, but it didn't turn out that way, and that's okay. Zatara has especially appreciated having her daddy home, she hardly gets to see him at all. I am so thankful to God for giving me a husband like Rick. Yes, he drives me crazy... well, most of the time, but he really is a great man.

I took this picture awhile ago, but I thought it was so cute. Zatara had a very long day, but she still wanted to hang out in the living room with us. She fell asleep with her chew toy in her mouth.

Oh August, how art thou?

Rick and I just celebrated our 3 year anniversary! Hurray! It actually turned out to be a great evening. I was a little worried, because our original plans had fallen through. We were going to go to Reno and check out the Atlantis Resort and Spa (where Kristi Baum used to work). However, the spa wasn't open until September, and that was pretty much the whole reason to go, seeing as how we're too poor to gamble. We ended up spending the entire day together trying to get my garden fountain to work. Then we cleaned up and had and expensive dinner at Annabels. It was actually pretty fun living it up. I had budgeted enough money for us to have a really fancy dinner: champaigne, appetizers, the works. Then we strolled over to the movie theatre and watched "Batman," which was actually really good. It was a terribly romantic evening. It was actually one of the best dates we've ever been on.

As stated before, I've been working really hard on the Azalea court, and things are really coming along. I can't really use my hands any more, but here's some pics.

BEFORE NOW (with Dad and Sean's help)

The starts of the fountain. Here's what it looks like now.

I just assembled a bunch of junk that I found around the yard. I got the idea from Denny Terry. I actually love my fountain a lot. Just ask Krista :)

Adventures in Daycare

Over the summer I did some part-time at the Clover Pass Daycare (what can I say, CPCC is my home away from home). I had no desire to going back to the insensitive grind of the tourist industry, so I decided to try my hand at child care. It was a big jump for me, because unlike most girls, I didn't grow up babysitting little infants and drooling toddlers. I had never even changed a diaper in my entire life! And actually, I had a big fear of infants. It's always a little disconcerting having the parents eyeing you suspiciously as you over-cautiously, and awkwardly hold their tiny, squawking brood. Most parents would make jokes about it, which never really did reassure me. I just figured I'd learn all of this baby stuff out of necessity when I had my own kids. Well, due to circumstances, I figured I'd better get a heads up before I got pregnant again. And the experience has really been an eye opener.
I've found that I can actually work really well with babies. It's been pretty fun actually. Aside from coming home utterly exhausted, with a shirt soaked in saliva and snot, and tiny, aching scratches on my face-- it's been good. I've discovered that the unique "baby smell" is actually a combination of every single body fluid and baby powder... yum. Within my first week of working there, I pretty much got over my fear of babies. Once you've changed a dozen diapers without throwing up and rocked about six different babies to sleep, you start to feel pretty good about yourself. There's also been some pretty funny moments.
One day, I was helping out on the preschool side, and one of the little boys had a doll stuffed under his shirt. He was laying on his back while three other kids were all surrounding him. One had a stethoscope and another had numerous bottles, while the third had a toy, plastic power tool and was "sawing" into the boy. I asked them, "What are you doing?" They just simply glanced up at me and replied, "We're having a baby." I had to quickly turn about and casually walk off, because I nearly died laughing-- it was so cute.
I am relieved to have some time off once again so that I may get my house in order and the ground work laid for the Azalea court. But I am very thankful for the opportunity to step out of my comfort zone and confront some irrational fears. And I would strongly suggest that if anyone out there has the same fears that I did, they should see about doing some care taking as well. Now don't relate having your own kids to barrowing someone elses, because it's not the same at all. I see how those kids faces light up when they see their mom or dad come walking through the door. There's no substitute for adoration like that.

Update

Alright, so I've been crazy busy the last month or two. Also, on top of everything, my internet has not been working. I think some things are finally getting resolved.

As of late I have repaired my home, split wood, stacked the entire wood shed, participated in a college class, helped oraganize a school fundraiser, gardened, help put in a new water tank, and worked at the daycare. Wow... it's been a good summer!

I'm realizing the reward of being a "domestic diva," as my new apron calls it. I'm one who's all for women's lib. and I have no intention of giving up my job once the Good Lord allows me to keep my children earthbound. However, making your home your castle is a very rewarding feeling. I've never split wood before in my entire life, but this summer I've finally tried my hand at it, and thankfully not losing a hand in the process, I feel pretty good about it. Great exercise! I've also learned to use a chainsaw, which seems to worry quite a few men (what is it with guys and power tools?). I'm continuing the battle of keeping my home clean, which seems like a never ending endevour considering my husband and my dog, both whom I love dearly. Also, I'm learning to make lunches the night before. This is a completely new process for me. However, it became necessary as a money saving venture.
I have also broken ground on the Azalea court. It's been tough work. I'm been the only one working on it so far. With the exception of my father-in-law who last November cut down a tree while Rick and I were away in Anchorage for my surgery and he landed the tree on my beautiful Mt. Fuji cherry tree. I've been hoeing the ground by hand (yes, some of my friends still snicker everytime I pronounce, "I've been hoeing today.") The turf comes up like a big thick carpet and it is very heavy. However, I have some extrememly beautiful azaleas that are more than ready to be put into place, most provided by loving friends and family. The center of the court is going to be a beautiful Northern Lights scented azalea that Denny Terry got me for this last Mother's Day. The Lord gave her the sense that I was hurting on that day more than usual. Most people don't know, but I found out that I was pregnant with Azalea on Mother's day. The shrub with be dazzaling. As I'm working, I find myself crying out to God that all the rest of my children will be good and healthy. Firstly because my heart cannot withstand such another drastic heartache, and secondly, because I'm not building another garden like this one!
The daycare has been another adventure all together, which I will write about later. In the mean time, God Bless you all!

:)